Well, the day is over, and my first born is no longer a teenager. It sure doesn’t seem like 20 years ago that I couldn’t sleep and kept wandering down to the nursery to sit with my new baby. They wouldn’t let him stay in the room with me, and nearly broke my heart when they wouldn’t discharge him right away.

His blood sugar had dropped pretty low, and there had been some fluid in his lungs, so Chip spent his first five days in NCIU. At nearly 9 pounds, he looked like the Jolly Green Giant in there with all the preemies.

Those were awful days, and worse nights. I felt as though they’d torn him from me – there was such an awful void in my soul.

I am sure I drove everyone crazy. We were living in Texas, with no nearby family. Larry had to work, and had arranged for the wife of a coworker to stay with me during the day. He was driving trucks, but had arranged to be on some local day runs for a couple of weeks.

Mom was flying down to spend a couple of weeks – timed to be with me the first week Larry would go back on long distance runs. She wasn’t due to arrive for a week.

I would wait until Larry left for work, and “sneak” out of the house before Evelyn arrived to go sit with Chip. Then I’d rush home before Larry got there so he could take me right back to the hospital.

And bless Evelyn’s heart, she never gave me up, and had dinner (and a lecture) waiting at the house.

Little did I know that those would be the first of my worries – nor the beginning of a bond that would feel just as strong 20 years later. I know he’s had more than his fair share of trouble, but I am proud of the man he is becoming. He has such a caring and gentle spirit – and eyes so intense that they see into your very soul. I am as sure now as I was then, he is destined for great things.

Tonight, I waited up for him to come in from the movies – to have a cup of tea with him while he grabbed a late dinner – seems to be our new routine. {grin} Rather than the usual quiet entrance, he burst in excited and agitated – wanting me to go back out front with him. In the ice and snow, no less. I know better than to question him.

We walked out the door to smoke and lights coming from Main Street.

Benji’s Market, our quaint little country store, has burned to the ground.

Thomas & I drove down to see it. Already feeling nostalgic, I stood there and thought of the role that place has had in raising my family.

When we moved to this side of town, Chip and Thomas were 7 and 9. It was a big deal for them to walk down to Benji’s for a soda & candy. They thought they were so grown up.

Chip met the boy who would be his best childhood friend there. Richie’s mother rented the space adjacent to Benji’s and ran a beauty salon. She would begin cutting and coloring my hair, and I spent many hours sitting in one of her chairs. Chip & Richie bounced between our house, hers, and the salon playing GI Joe, video games, and skate boarding.

She’s moved away now. Richie’s still in Berryville, but as happens so often, he and Chip have grown apart. And now, the salon is gone with Benji’s.

Cub Scouts and Boy Scouts met in the church across the street. Benji’s was a fixture for grabbing a snack after Scouts, or adding a drink to a packed lunch for an outing.

Rain or shine, you never drove past the store that there weren’t several neighborhood kids hanging out under the awning.

Larry stops there every night, on his way home from work. And, I was in there several times a week for one thing or another.

It had changed hands over the years. The current owners, and the ones before, weren’t the old school good ‘ol boys that were running it when we moved here. But the place itself had changed little – wood floors, dusty cans of soup, cold soda & beer, and someone behind the counter who may not know your name, but knew the brand of cigarettes you smoked.

And, now, it’s gone. Whatever rises from the ashes will never be the same.